I’m dating your mind, for it is the only place I can see the beauty of a man and the true color of life. P.S: Originally handwritten on August 12th, 2014 at MMC Hospital Jakarta, Room 503.
I smelt your perfume, hoped it would stay a little bit longer so I could reminisce the warmth of your hugs, the gentleness when your lips danced on mine. I smelt your perfume, freezing the moment when we firstly met. My mind played our every scene. I still smelt your perfume; it stayed there and would always be.
I love you, from the very first time we met. I remember that day, that place, the clothes you wore, the bag you carried on your shoulder. I remember when my eyes met yours. My heart palpitated. It beat faster, 10 times faster than before. I had no clue why my hands were wet. Butterflies flew on my stomach. You…
I thank my God for the morning hot tea today. For a friendly traffic. For those songs I could listen and sing on my iPod. For the warm breeze of the trees behind the gate. For a sudden kiss on my cheek you gave, realizing that our love is still there.
Sama seperti hari-hari sebelumnya, aku merindumu. Rindu ini nyaris tumpah, kepenuhan. Jika dulu ia datang malam-malam, kini ia datang lebih awal. Lebih sering. Lebih menyiksa. Menurutmu, rindu itu menyenangkan? Tidak. Merindumu itu siksaan. Merindumu lebih sakit dari perpisahan itu sendiri. Aku bertemu denganmu. Melihatmu dari jarak jauh, lalu rindu itu lenyap. Terobati. Kadang aku pun sial. Bertemu denganmu membuat rinduku…
Rindu selalu punya jadwal. Ia datang pelan-pelan pada malam hari. Tepat ketika selembar selimut ditarik hingga sebatas dagu. Ia tak pernah datang terlambat. Sekitar pukul 10 atau 11 malam, ia tiba. Sesekali ia datang lebih awal. Sikapnya manis, lembut. Kau bisa menikmatinya. Tapi di lain waktu, ia bisa sangar dan nyaris membunuhmu. Dan malam ini ia datang padaku. Sebab sejak…